went bowling last night with jeff, the guy that was my best friend up here in santa barbara. apparently he's gonna quit brooks in a few sessions and try to go to flight school.. jordyn (in my black glass group) is quitting after THIS session and going to texas, going to UT.
it's so weird that brooks is 3 years. i've asked bryant what he's gonna do after brooks, where he's going, he has no idea. will bryant and i stay together for 3 years? who knows. if we do, what are we gonna do after we graduate? what if one of us leaves brooks? what then.
is it weird to think, "i could end up with this guy"?
i can't remember if i felt like this with james. like, we'd talked about marriage and stuff. i even talked about it with jin. i guess if things are going right, why shouldn't you think like that. i've always wanted to find the person that i'd spend the rest of my life with.. i don't remember feeling like this with the other guys. just being randomly filled with happiness, just because you're with them or they're near you or that you guys are together. it's funny, at the beginning of the relationship i was afraid that we didn't connect enough. i felt like we were there for attraction instead of connection. but as the months go, we're starting to grow together. i'm randomly happy lots more, we'll complete each other's sentences. things just click. we make jokes all the time and we make each other laugh alot. the relationship hasn't gotten serious. we're growing into being friends too, not only two people together. we tell each other random stories all the time. we're getting to know each other, our habits. growing together. i was reading lollipoop's entry about connection vs desire (to be together) and.. i think.. we're growing to have both. it was desire that turned into a connection.
and it's.. really nice.
*cheesy "so happy together!" song by the turtles plays*
i guess it's not a bad thing to be thinking about how we could end up together. i mean, in the long run. we are together but, together in the long run. a bit weird when i step back and realize that he's only 20, i'm only 18. is that immature? is that weird? i think it's better to fall in love early, so you can grow from it, realize.. instead of waiting til you're much older to date, then maybe it's awkward. maybe it'll end up like a love story and you'll be swept off your feet. you can afford the heartaches and breaks (oooh my achey breaky heart, lala.. hahaa) early on. i guess it's different for everybody. just depends how you grew up.
on another note, i had fun in the studio the other day. i was taking shot #2 from our fourth assignment (individual work) and bryant went to go get food so i set up. he came back in mid-set up (it was a pretty intense set, comparatively speaking to other work i've done) and he said he really liked it. then he said he was gonna go out and do other stuff so i said okay. it was awhile. he came back after 2.5 hours or something, i had JUST changed my lighting set up and he said he REALLY liked it. and i took my shot and i was done.. about 3 hours for a shot. and i was just so happy with it and he really liked it too. and i just felt so happy to be in photography, at a photography school. doing what i loved. i haven't felt inspiration or love in awhile. it was a "i know i love it but.. the flame isn't lit at the moment" sort of thing. love but not in love. and i just felt so inspired and alive. studio wasn't boring. it was fun. and the shot was entirely my own! most of the time, bryant helps me out alot because he knows alot more and it just makes things go by faster. i still learn, and it's good, i like watching and learning (i want to be a third assistant at a wedding, just to see how it goes before i try going for assisting by myself without bryant) and.. yea. but this shot was entirely my own and he liked it. he really did.
happy!
okay, enough posting. if i remember something, i'll write it down and post it later tonight.. haha. sorry kids. i'm just a blogger junkie :)
2 comments:
i think its totally normal to be thinking about bryant being "the one." it happens when you have such strong feelings for that person.
i remember talking to andy about stuff like that all the time. we'd talk about moving in with each other and maybe settling down one day. its a wonderful thought to entertain, and as i look back, that was one of the happiest of times.
ahhhh love. its so awesome. im so happy for you and bryant. you guys seem to really click, and im sure you guys are in it for the long hall :]
I dont think it's weird that you think about the future. I think it's natural. Course I have no experience but I hope that since you guys are so close and care for each other that you can think and talk about this stuff.
As for being 20 and 18, you know in the olden days, we'd already be married with kids. Hell, in Asia, we'd be married with kids by now =]. And even though in this society, the general idea is that 20 & 18 yr old are not old enough-I think they give us far too little credit. hhaha [this shows how much I have OJD] Kevin Jonas was said to have stated that he wants to marry young like his parents and that people shouldnt be afraid to commit at a young age. I agree, if you [well not you you but you know what I mean] feel ready, why not? SO, the point is I dont think it's weird. haha
And I'm soooooo happy for you cuzzo =] It's nice to see [ok well read - but you did seem really happy when we last saw you too] you so happy!
But I have to disagree about dating earlier vs. later. Call me the romantic but I dont think it matters when you meet the person, so long as you meet him and let him in you know? I understand about finding love earlier so you have more time and such and yeah that would be ideal, even for me but at the same time, I still feel I dont know who I am right now and I want to know that before I let someone else know you know? But like you said, it's just how you grew up. =]
And I'm so happy that you are finally love your life and really love it =] I'm sure you will be 110% pro for my wedding ;) and YOU won't be an assistant either! You will be the MAIN MAN!!!! well, man WOman! ahhahahahahahahah
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