i don't think i'd ever have interesting blog titles for an extended amount of time.. and i don't think i can stop compulsively blogging either. dang.
y'know, i was thinking.. lots of random thoughts, as usual. mostly about expectations and about the whole "the rest of your life" sort of thing.
it's hard NOT to have expectations. even for something as simple as how something will taste or feel, to how something will look.. to expectations of people, of performance, etc. my own problem is my expectation of people, regardless if i know them, how well i know them, etc.. which is one thing that i think restricts me from being that "friendly get-to-know-everyone" blahblah sort of amazing person.. that everyone likes.. and tries to get along with everyone, regardless of past history, current history, danger signs, etc. i'm just way too.. prejudiced? judgmental? but of course i already knew all of this. expectations.
is hoping and expecting so different? i can hope for something.. but i realize that there might be a downfall, something going wrong. if i expect something.. isn't there also that doubt? but i suppose there's less of a doubt.. you're more sure about your expectation than you are of a hope. but they seem like they're basically the same to me.
as for the whole "rest of your life" thing.. i'm doing small scale housewife. cooking, cleaning.. oh i forgot where i was going with this. i was doing dishes and bryant asked me to choose what he wanted to eat. is that weird? i think he's weird. but i suppose the difference between a short lived relationship and a long term one is the ability to still joke around somewhere in the middle.. keeping those laughs, doing things unexpected, staying on your toes.
i miss tennis! :(
and i'm out of hot chocolate. boo.. had apple cider today. wasn't too bad. i was doing dishes and stace called me and i had just changed my ring tone (not that i could've answered) so i was listening to it.. then i realized that it was my cellphone, not bryant playing it on the computer.. picked it up, talked (i was consulted for buying something! hahhaa that made my otherwise dreary overcast day).. sat down, went through fashion blogs/websites for awhile.. almost bought some make-up but decided against it (even though it was on sale!).
going to jeff's tonight for margaritas and.. guitar hero. yes, tipsy!
I NEED TO SHOOT. ugh. model for me? seriously, i just need to shoot for my own soul.
2 comments:
heheheheheh, so when you were washing dishes, were you wearing a housewife apron? Like.. an I-Love-Lucy apron? :) The frilly ones.. with lace and all? Get a C-Box now!! Remember back in xanga when we'd spam each other's boxes? :) Ahhhh good times good times.
... uhh.. my word verification is SLEWI... wtf is a slewi?
its okay to judge. i do it all the time. i just try my best not to let that get in the way of me getting to know that person. i just think that everyone deserves a chance to change my mind. oftentimes they dont, but hey. at least i tried yea? :P
i have hot chocolate! come visit me and i`ll give you some!
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