131, sadness

So little to say
But so much time
Despite my empty mouth
The words are in my mind
Please wear the face
The one where you smile
Because you
Lighten up my heart
When I start to cry

Forgive me first love
But I'm tired
I need to get away
To feel again
Try to understand why
Don't get so close
To change my mind
Please wipe that look
Out of your eyes
It's bribing me
To doubt myself
Simply, it's tiring

This love has dried up
And stayed behind
And if I stay
I'll be alive
Then choke on words
I'd always hide
Excuse me first love
But we're through
I need to taste the kiss
From someone new

Forgive me first love
But I'm too tired
I'm bored to say
The least and I
I lack desire
Forgive me first love (4x)
Forgive me
Forgive me first love (2x)

link: adele - first love

my friend had this song up in her status.. and.. man. it's so sad. this is how i felt with james. it's just one of those songs that even though it's not what you're going through NOW.. it's what you went through.. and it just hits home. ah, well. i love her songs. adele is BOMB :) 

no no no. bryant and i are doing okay, no worries about that! :) one year this week.. woot. 

been having some weird dreams (i guess he and i haven't been cuddling during sleep). the one i remember most is.. i had about like.. 5 different species of DRAGON.. all coming to me and apologizing. and i had another one where i was sitting in an economics class.. which totally wasn't mine. and i don't remember who the teacher was, but he knew me. i guess it was lejano or something.. and it was the day that people were giving speeches and he chose me to go first even though i totally wasn't in the class and he knew it. so i got up there and had noooo idea what to say. it felt like a press conference. so i started talking but the rustling began and i panicked and i looked down at the front row and amanda selnick and laura toy were there.. and amanda pointed down at a piece of paper on the ground that said "INTENSTIE" and i said "what?" and she pointed down again and i was so confused.. and i read it phonetically and she said "don't you remember? the clarinets!" and i said huuuh.. and she said "half notes!" and i said "oh right! intensity! you have to blow harder at the end of the note because you're running out of breath and the note fades, you need intensity.." and i got up and started talking and we had to include some sort of job experience with the speech so i brought up some sort of me TA'ing for somebody but changed it to economics related and someone (candice, i think) asked how much it paid or something and i said "well, if i wanted to get paid, i wouldn't be in this business" or something and candice (the lady i turn in my time cards to) laughed... 

yea.. it was really weird... :<